1 Year

1 Year ago today my Granddad went to heaven, sometimes when I think about it I can't even believe it's true. How could it be that my Granddad is not here anymore? How can it be that he is not just a phone call away? I will admit that I have not fully grieved for him yet..... it's like I am holding onto him and I just won't let myself accept that he is gone. Over the past year there have been times when I felt myself slipping into utter devastation but I pull myself out of it. I don't think it is really healthy but I just can't.
Something I do know is that he visits me, I absolutely talk to him out loud from time to time because I really believe that he can hear me. And about a month ago he visited me in a dream.... and no, it wasn't "just" a dream... it was real, so real. That was so special and if you don't believe in things like that... than to each their own. But I got to see him, talk to him and hug him.

I wanted to share a special memory with you all today, as soon as I got Bella my cat Granddad would come over and spend time with her. You see Granddad always had a key to anywhere I lived... When I was at work he would come over and watch TV with his Bella. Then when we got the dogs he would always come over several times a week to spend time with his Grand-dogs. It broke my heart when we moved the first time to Ohio because I was taking that away from him. He missed them and always asked me how is Grand-dogs were and I know the animals loved him just as much. That is just one of the stories that makes up my life with Granddad.... my entire 33 years I spent with him I saw him at LEAST 3 times a week, every week. Our bond was very special and I miss it everyday.

I love you Granddad and I know you know my heart, all the unspoken things I want to say.

I Miss Him....

Today is Fathers Day and to be honest this year more importantly today is my Granddad's Birthday. It's been a little over 3 months since he passed and I still can't believe it is real. Literally my heart will not believe it. Granddad was our Summer Baby and we all miss him so.....

 Oma has good days and bad days and that is to be expected her life partner has moved on....

 I just wanted to take today to wish Granddad the Happiest of Birthdays and I know he can hear me when I talk to him out loud. I know he is still with us and that he visits us and watches over us from heaven.

 This was taken right around when Earl met my Grandmother (Oma) Hannelore....

 Granddad you were always SOO much more than a Grandparent you were a second Dad to me in more ways that I could ever express. I got 33 years with you and our bond was truly something special. I love you and I miss you more than I could ever say. Happy Birthday Granddad!