Peace

RIIIIIIght now I am leaving on a jet plane! I am officially on vacation with Matt this week and most likely won't be back on here for over a week!!! The first 1/2 of our week will be spent in Savannah to celebrate Matt for qualifying for Farmers Insurance Topper Club 2016!! I am so proud of him for doing so well and big thanks for Farmers for Boston and now Savannah!!! The second 1/2 of our week will be just us 2 in Charleston! I am so excited, check out where we are staying Zero George! It's TOO die for!
ANyhoo..... you know the drill follow me on Social Media to see about my trip filled with good food, hunted tours, history and charm I hope!!!

How am I?

Hey friends, first of all TGIF!! Second thank you to all of you who have recently reached out and asked "How are you"? I appreciate you thinking about me and Matt, because you don't just wake up the next morning and forget everything, although I think some people must think that.

This is a weird question "How are You"...... I am ok. Just ok.
* Physically? I am feeling like myself.... about 2 weeks ago I noticed that the hormones and drugs must be out of my system because the dizziness has left and I feel like my old self again (Hello, welcome back migraines) This might be TMI but I just had my period again since this and that is good, my body is getting back to the normal cycle of things.

* Have Matt and I discussed moving forward? Yes, we finally had a talk about all of this... Matt doesn't like talking about negative things but this is our life and I need it. We have made a decision, more like 1/2 a decision. We eliminated an option but now is not the time to share that because it is still raw within us. No, we are not doing anything currently to move forward right now but eliminating one direction is helpful.

* "How am I doing"? I am doing ok, I have thrown myself into planning this fun vacation next week and looking forward to meeting my friend Nicole in LA the following weekend for a girls getaway. It's nice having somethings to look forward to!! Here is what is so hard......
We went from our soul focus for over 2 years was trying to have a baby to this... nothingness.
We went from 1 SOLID year of infertility treatments, shots, doctor appts to this....nothingness.

 During the past year each disappointment is pushed aside because literally days later you are starting another round or procedure and you need your focus to be positive.... SO now it seems like all of this is slowly creeping up on me. And it is doing so thru my old pal... ANXIETY. Somedays I am good but somedays it is so out of control I can't take it. At night I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and my old pal the elephant is back to sitting on my chest. I literally cannot sleep right now without taking an over the counter sleep aid. The anxiety is unreal and it has been over 2 years since I have been on anything to control it, I had to get off everything to try to have a baby and now I am reluctant to start up taking things again. I don't want to but I might have to. Anxiety is my bodies way of holding onto things and I can't do anything about it. I am drowning a little in the "what should I do" phase but I dunno, thats the answer... I don't know what to do about it.
Second I am still dealing with anger, anger towards "certain situations" that have arisen from this past year. You can forgive and try to move on but it changes things, permanently. I hate being so vague with you all because I am never like this but I have to be. My anger over issues I am afraid will result in me not being the same again towards certain things. Or people if you must know. It's sad, because I am not that way but I just can't .... I just can't let is slide I guess would be a good phrase. ugh. moving on...........
Here is the jest of what I told Matt, this is 100% a death, this is the biggest life moment we have had together. We must both now find a way to mourn the life that could have been. Move on and Mourn the fact that we will NEVER have a biological child, and it is a death of "what could have been". And it has to be processed but there isn't a handbook per say on how to do this. We have to struggle in this and hopefully move on.
SO I guess that is how I am doing inside. Outside, I am ok. My favorite word, Ok. I am ok.

MOVIE Mania Tuesday!

To say that I am back into my at least one movie a week kick is putting it lightly!! ha! But it makes me happy, isn't it in a movie theater that your mind goes blank and you are entertained? It honestly is my happy place and that is the truth! But lucky for you I then give you the run down on what to see and what to skip!!! I have 4 for you today............

I wasn't really excited to Bridget Jones, it seems too long ago that I loved the others but it was Friday and I wanted to see a movie! This movie is what you expect... Silly, cute, kinda raunchy and includes 2 handsome guys! I was amazed at how a 43 year old gets accidentally pregnant but I might be a bit prejudiced currently! I wouldn't tell you to run to the theater but if you want a laugh this is a great afternoon getaway!!!

This movie was a book that has been on my too read list for too long and well, time was up! I was leary going into this because the premise is a couple who can't have a baby of their own but literally find one and raise it. It was kinda slow to be honest but the movie itself was beautiful. The actors are beautiful, the setting, the time period and the love these two characters have for each other is beautiful! If you are a book lover then you will love this movie for sure!

I Love true stories and I personally think that we as a country do not know the whole true behind "Snowden Gate" so I wanted to see the movie. Honestly right off this is a renter, it was so very slow but Matt and I both agreed that we learned a lot and THE Edward Snowden is actually in the movie as well. It may only be one side of the story but it is eye opening for sure!

Let me start off by saying that Tom Hanks of the male version of Meryl Streep, as in he can transform into any character and you WILL believe it. We all know the story of Sully but this really shows the emotional side to this, the toll on him and Tom Hanks is incredible. Matt and I both really enjoyed this movie and you should go see this!

Lily and the Octopus (CONTAINS spoilers)

Combining the emotional depth of The Art of Racing in the Rainwith the magical spirit of The Life of Pi, Lily and the Octopus is an epic adventure of the heart.
When you sit down with Lily and the Octopus, you will be taken on an unforgettable ride.
The magic of this novel is in the read, and we don’t want to spoil it by giving away too many details.
We can tell you that this is a story about that special someone: the one you trust, the one you can’t live without.
For Ted Flask, that someone special is his aging companion Lily, who happens to be a dog.
Lily and the Octopus reminds us how it feels to love fiercely, how difficult it can be to let go, and how the fight for those we love is the greatest fight of all.

Where do I start with this one?? How about how I purchased this book many months back and solely because of the weenie on the cover. Then Oscar passed away and this book was buried very deep into a pile. Now, fast forward to last week and one day I got this weird feeling all day that I "needed" to read this book. All of a sudden I got this overwhelming interest in reading this book, like I HAD to start it THAT night. And So I did......

NOW< saying that this "review" contains spoilers is maybe too much.... if you read the back of this book you realize this is about a journey, it eludes to the end and if you read the first 5 pages everything is laid out. So with that being said I CAN NOT explain what this was to me without saying what happened to Lily. 

Like I said the first 5 pages BLEW me away, I literally had no IDEA that this book was literally about a tan weenie who had EYE SOCKET CANCER. DO you know how rare that is? And in this book this dog had a tumor above/in her eye JUST like my boy Oscar. And hence the tumor is named The Octopus.... and that description is mind blowing. Because that is what it was. ( I will let the book do the rest) And I cried and I cried all 4 nights I read this book. Lily also had spinal surgery EXACTLY like my Oscar, Lily also lost her eye site almost just like my Oscar.... I mean is this real?

Now onto the review..... This book is imaginative. About 1/4 of the book is the lead gentleman actually talking to the Octopus on Lily's head and it talking back, and Lily also talks. The middle of the book is a tad strange with this imaginative excursion to find and kill an Octopus but it is really just him working thru the fact that his one true love is leaving him. And when that happens it is almost exactly what happened to Oscar and his emotions mimic mine so much it broke my heart. Again.

What does this mean? I honestly think it was my Oscar letting me know he is there, showing me his reach from the other side and oddly him saying Hi Mom. This book was so unusual but honest and of course I recommend it. Here is a neat story, I found the author on Instagram and found the picture of his Lily.. who was real and I commented. And he replied back to me about my Oscar and his Lily, it was touching.

If anything this book taught me what I already knew.... that my love for Oscar is soo deep, absolutely a part of me died with him. And that heart ache that actually hurts has not and will not go away. I literally cannot put it into words how much I miss my boy, as does Matt. Sometimes I think, is this real life.... where is Oscar, it's literally like my head will not believe he is gone. Not ONE DAY goes by without me thinking about him and luckily lately it is all full of fond memories. Every night before bed I pray that God will let Oscar come visit me in my dreams and that I can remember them. But maybe this pressing urge to read this book was Oscar visiting me for real and I didn't only remember it, I read about his life on paper. xo

Game Days are HERE!

Football Season is HERE! The start of Fall, Game Days, Great Eats, Tailgates, Cooler Weather, Fantasy Football but don't forget The World Series is around the corner too! It's a great time of year and I amoung the masses is obsessed with Fall and everything is has to offer!

 Last week was pretty much a Bucket List night for us... NOT only did we go to the Broncos Season Opener BUT it was NFL Kickoff.... With a free One Republic Concert, Presentation of the Lombardi Trophy and a BRONCO WIN after the Super Bowl Round 2 Game! It was EPIC as was our seats!!!

 I may not be one to sit in front of the couch for hours watching the Broncos or our Sooners but I LOVE going to the games! It's completely different!

This weekend is HUGE for OU as we are set to play Ohio State (BOO, Hiss) so for the game I have our game day menu all planned out but don't fret I have MANY options for you also.........

Game Day Eats!
 * Smokey Turkey Chili is a wonderful healthy option, find the recipe HERE
 * My Moms White Bean Chicken Chili is the easiest option and the recipe is HERE
 * I Love this Crock Pot Green Chili Chicken over rice, the recipe is HERE 
 * Maybe a Sandwich better suits your crew, this crockpot shredded chicken sandwich is great! The recipe is HERE

I hope I have inspired you for Game Day this weekend and GO SOONERS!!!!!






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Hall and Oats!

Last night we celebrated my 35th Birthday a few months late thanks to my Mom and Dad.... They got me tickets to see Hall and Oats at Red Rocks! We have been lucky enough to see a total of 3 shows here at this "Bucket List" venue (Incubus and Kings of Leon). We always get there early for parking and tailgate but last nights tailgate was epic and JUST my style! Ya, I brought homemade cake to Red Rocks!!! BUT the crowd was older and all the people around us had wine, some brought SUSHI...SUSHI to a tailgate and I even heard groups of people talking about what books they are reading! I mean really I FOUND MY PEOPLE!!!!!!!!

 Lucky for me I watched the weather carefully and knew it might rain but I vastly under estimated how cold it was..... I was not warm enough in my 2 layers that is for sure! Around 8:45 when Hall and Oats took the stage the skies OPENED up.... I mean do you see the rain in the lights? It was kinda awesome!

Some people say that a Bucket List event is seeing a concert AT Red Rocks IN the pouring rain and well, CHECK!!!!! I am SOOOO glad we brought ponchos but it poured!! We had a great time singing to my oldies in the rain!! Very epic!

Thanks Mom and Dad for a wonderful Birthday present!!!! xo

Last Thursday my parents got here for the annual Labor Day trip to spend with Matt and I, one of my favorite weekends! Friday after breakfast we headed to Colorado Springs to the Olympic Training Center which was one of our favorite things we did!

 And to think that just a few weeks prior everyone from Katie Ledecky to Ryan Lochte were all here getting ready for Rio! We were lucky enough to see and meet a few athletes.... Para-Athletes, Bobsledder and a Male Gymnast.

 The tour was great we got to see all the building and yes, even the pool where Michael Phelps trains!

 This place is huge and even has dorms, it is very much like a college campus but way fancier. The zero gravity treadmill was super neat to see.

 My parents loved this and I will definitely bring back future houseguests to this super cool experiance!

 After the training center we headed over to the Broadmoor for lunch and towel around a little bit on the grounds before heading back to Casa Savage!

 Dinner on Friday was great.... we went to Old Major this super hip place in Denver that cures all their own meats amoung a million other house made items! We all loved it!

It was a great first day with my family in town!!!!

Savage Sells Colorado!!

Hey Guys! I hope everyone had a wonderful Labor Day, we did! Both of our parents were/are here and it was so nice to get everyone together! I will do several posts this week about the weekend after I get caught up on life! But today I am not sure if I shared with you all.... my business website is UP as is my Facebook page!!! SO you know the drill head on over to my Facebook business page and LIKE it please!! Click HERE and go there!

Next head on over to my website and check it out by clicking HERE!

Here is the post from the website but I have to share it on here too because I am so proud of it! I went for my first consult to design an ENTIRE home! SO exciting! I spent about 6-8 hours last weekend designing each room and putting together these boards to present to my clients! They love color like I do and I am in love with each room and how they flow! Check it out below and YES I can totally do your home also!!!!

Client Formal Dining Room Inspo by nsavage featuring upholstered furniture

Client Kitchen/Living Inspo by nsavage featuring glass shade table lamps

Clients Foyer inspo by nsavage featuring upholstered accent chairs

Clients Formal Living Room Inspo by nsavage featuring a wood top coffee table

Clients Master Bedroom Inspiration by nsavage featuring white home decor

I will let you all know if I get to move forward and start work on the home, and yes.... I will document it each step of the way!